Demon-Sitting
by batman-defeats-all
Summary: When Jason is somehow talked into babysitting Damian for a night, the sudden presence of Roy and Kori do not make anything easier. Especially since Harper seemed to drive on the Demon's nerves just as much he did on Jason's own. One-shot


**This story is a Christmas gift for my little sister. She loves Jason, Damian, and the Outlaws. I thought this was perfectly reasonable response to that.**

**... Even if it is pretty much a crack!fic...  
**

**I do not own anything DC does.  
**

Jason was going to kill Grayson. He didn't know when, or how, but he was going to freaking murder that cocky acrobat.

Though, in all honesty, he probably shouldn't have even picked up his phone when the older hero called him. Dick rarely called him for something he would like.

_Jason scowled at his phone as it rang for the tenth time in as many minutes. Deciding to just give in and answer it, he snatched up the gadget and pressed it against his ear._

_ "What do you want, Grayson?"_

_ "I just a have a teensy little favor I have to ask of you, Jay..." The slight nervousness in the young man's voice only lowered Jason's tolerance level._

_ "No."_

_ "I didn't even ask yet!"_

_ "If you couldn't get anyone else to do it, I probably won't like it."_

_ "... Well, I got the job from Bruce originally, I'm obviously going to be busy, or I wouldn't ask, Barbara is... going to be with me... and Tim admittedly did downright refuse... He said he was too busy with his team, but he stuttered that out after he yelled no..."_

_ "Any reason you didn't mention the Demon Brat?"_

_ The silence that followed the question caused Jason to freeze._

_ "Damn it, Grayson, you better not be asking what I think you are."_

_ "It is only for one night! I'll pick him up right away in the morning!"_

_ "What the hell are you even doing? You mentioned going with Barbara?" _

_ "... Well, she has this big charity ball that the police station is sponsoring, so she kind of has to go, and she really needed someone to go with her and..."_

_ "You are leaving me with freaking Damian because you are going on a date?!"_

_ "... Does that mean you'll do it?"_

_ Jason growled before answering._

_ "Fine, but only because I don't even want to think about the kind of damage the brat would cause if he was left alone."_

_ "Thanks, Jaybird!"_

A firm scowl was in place on Jason's face as he stood in front of one of his many safe houses in Gotham, watching Dick get a small black suitcase out of the trunk of his car. The older man then moved to the passenger sideof his blue vehicle, and started coaxing the young boy who sat in the seat out. Damian climbed out, glaring fiercely at Dick, a large black dog trailing behind him.

"I didn't say anything about a dog being allowed."

Dick looked at him, exhaustion obvious on his face.

"He refused to come unless I let him bring Titus allowed. He's a pretty quiet dog, he mostly just follows Damian around..."

Jason rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, the dog can stay."

The anti-hero was lightly amused to see the child roll his eyes in a similar manner as he himself had only moments before.

Dick rolled the suitcase so it stood in front of him, and started explaining what it contained.

"His costume is in this pocket, if he needs it for some reason, though Bruce told me he didn't want him going out. There are a few sets of civvies in here, as well as a pair of sunglasses. His pajamas are over here, along with his toothbrush and cat plushie."

"Cat plushie?" Jason chocked out, trying to contain his laughter. It did not work very well. "He has a _cat plushie?!_"

"Damn it, Grayson..." the child muttered, glaring at his feet angrily.

Dick huffed at the response.

"He's a kid, Jason. Don't make fun of him for having a stuffed toy."

"R-right," Jason managed to say through his last few peels of laughter.

"That's about it," the older hero said, glancing back at his car. "I should get going, I still have to get ready for tonight..."

"I hope neither you nor Gordon enjoy yourselves tonight, abandoning me with _Todd_." Damian hissed out, making Jason chuckle a bit more.

"You're a hoot, kid," he stated, gaining a hateful glower.

"I'll be back tomorrow morning to pick him up. Thanks again, Jason. See you tomorrow, Little D!"

Dick jogged back to his car, and soon drove off.

"You're not welcome," Jason couldn't stop himself from grumbling as the older ex-Robin drove off, leaving him with Damian.

"What now, Todd?" the child asked, his arms crossed and a single eyebrow raised questioningly. Even his dog looked like it wanted an answer.

"Well, getting inside would be a good first step..." he stated slightly awkwardly, signaling to the door.

"_Tt._ Obviously," Damian growled, pulling the door to the safe-house open and tugging his suitcase inside. The dog just followed him.

Huffing in annoyance, Jason entered after the dog, closing the door behind him.

"There really isn't a 'guest room', per say, but the couch does have a pull out bed. I got it set up a few minutes ago..."

As Damian started walking towards the readied bed, Jason felt his phone start vibrating in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw the caller ID was Roy. If he tried to ignore the archer, he would just keep calling...

"I need to take this call. Just set yourself up, kid."

Jason turned away from the young boy at the bed, walking a short distance away before answering the phone.

"This had better be important, Harper," he growled out quietly.

"It is, but why do you sound so angry?"

"You and Kori told me you two were going to be _busy_ tonight. As such, I ended up making other... plans, that are not the best things to interrupt."

There was silence for a moment, before the archer suddenly exclaimed in response.

"Woah, you got a date with Isabelle, didn't you?"

"Oh, I wish." Jason answered, snorting slightly.

"What are you doing, than?"

Jason really did not want to answer, but Roy would surely bother him until he found out...

"I'm babysitting my 'little brother', alright?"

Another moment of silence passed from Roy, though a faint "I'm not being babysat! You are merely watching me for the night!" could be heard from where he left Damian.

_ "... _You mean you're babysitting Robin?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's no problem! He could help!"

Jason did not like where this was heading.

"What do you want?"

"Well, Kori and I... it was actually not on purpose, but we sort of stopped the mercenary Deathstroke from killing a target, and now he's sort of attacking us... I'm calling you from behind a burning pick-up truck..."

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing deeply.

"Roy, I would maybe help, if I didn't have the kid. Bats would kill me if I brought him to fight Deathstroke-"

"Deathstroke?" Damian was standing next to Jason in seconds. "As in the world famous mercenary?"

"Yeah..."

"I don't care what Father says, it would be far too much an honor to fight him to not do so!"

As the boy ran off to get into costume, Jason realized that the kid would be going with or without him. And either Bruce or Dick (or possibly both...) would definitely kill him if he let Damian go without him.

"Where are you Roy?" he asked, sighing.

"Some city near Gotham... Bludhaven, I think?"

"I guess we'll there soon. Try not to die."

Placing the phone down on a nearby table, Jason quickly got dressed in his own costume and slipped his guns in their holsters. He was just putting on his helmet when Damian returned to the room, in full costume.

"I assume you are ready to leave, Todd?"

"I only have one motorcycle, kid, so you'll have to hold onto me on the way. You're completely sure you want to go?"

"_Tt. _Of course I do."

As they headed to Jason's motorcycle, he gave one last ditch attempt to fight the concept of helping the other Outlaws.

"I'm sure Bruce and Dick wouldn't like you going out when you were told not to."

"_Tt. _Father rarely wants me going on patrol, and Grayson is an overprotective idiot."

"... Your dog has to stay..."

"Well, of course he does."

There was no changing that kid's mind.

It was not a particularly long trip to Bludhaven, the city was right next to Gotham, but he made sure to make one thing clear on the way.

"While I don't agree with it, Bats will never forgive me if I don't make sure you keep the whole 'no-killing' rule."

The annoyed mumbling was a sign that it was best he had said that.

When they entered the city, it was not hard to find Roy and Kori. The archer had not been kidding when he had mentioned the burning pick-up truck. There were vehicles covered by smoldering flames everywhere.

The fact that they were an extremely powerful alien and an archer fighting a world-class mercenary was also rather attention gathering.

"Be careful while fighting," Jason said quickly, just for good measure, before they ran to the battle.

"_Tt_. You're being as bad as Grayson, Todd."

Just as they got there, though, the fight was soon over as one of Kori's starbolts hit a gas tank near Deathstroke's feet, and the following explosion sent him sailing in an unseen direction.

"Well," Roy started, looking at the now very annoyed Red Hood, and just plain furious Robin. "Guess we didn't need you, Hood. It... wasn't working out so well before. I didn't know it would end up being that easy..."

"I don't even get to freaking hit anyone!" Damian hissed out, his masked eyes narrowed in hatred at the archer.

"Hey, don't blame me, I thought you'd get to hit someone, kid."

Jason put away the gun he had taken out as soon as he parked the motorcycle.

"If that was all you needed, then we should get back to Gotham. I'll meet up with you two tomorrow. If I'm not as ticked off as I am right now."

Roy looked away, awkwardly.

"Well, about that, we kinda got a lot of attention here, and now no hotel would let us get a room..."

"You want to stay with me."

"I got an air mattress! Kori and I can share it!"

Jason rubbed his helmet in annoyance.

"Fine, but if you keep the kid up and make him crankier than usual, I will freaking murder you."

"Deal!"

Jason and Damian got back on the motorcycle, and Roy and Kori followed behind on the archer's own. When they arrived at the safe-house, Roy jumped up right away, running towards the door.

"I'll set up the air mattress!" he called out as he pulled open the door.

Only to have Titus pounce on him.

"Where did the dog come from?!" Roy asked, slight horror on his face.

"Titus, down!" Damian ordered his pet. The dog obeyed instantly, getting off the ginger and sitting, his head turned towards his owner and tilted slightly to the side, listening for the next order.

"Follow me," the boy said, and walked calmly into the safe-house, the large dog following him obediently.

"Batman got the kid a dog?!" Roy asked in shock.

"Apparently," Jason answered, about to enter, when he was stopped by Kori.

"Jason, I must ask, who is this boy?"

The vigilante rubbed the back of his neck.

"I guess, if one gets technical with adoptions and such, he's sort of my brother. Really, he's just a kid that I'm taking care of tonight. That happens to be slightly psychotic and rather violent."

"What is his name?"

"You can call him either Damian or Robin. I think calling him Robin at all times would probably make him too happy, though, so it would be best to call him Damian."

"Is making people happy not a good thing?"

"He's not used to it. I think he might pop a vein or something."

Jason, upon answering the questions, entered the building, seeing Damian now in pajamas.

That were covered in bat symbols.

"Oh man, kid, those are the most hilarious-" Jason couldn't even finish the sentence before he started cackling at the clothing.

"Wait, how can his pajamas make you laugh, while nothing I ever say does the same?" Roy asked, light anger in his voice.

"He doesn't want to be laughed at. You do," Jason answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Roy, shouldn't you set up the air mattress?" Kori asked, reminding the archer of his task, and leaving the to Bats alone in the kitchen, where they had been standing.

"Did Dick give you any food before he dropped you off?" Jason asked, suddenly realizing that he may have to feed Damian.

"No."

"... I think I have a frozen pizza..."

Fifteen minutes later, Roy and Kori entered the kitchen to find Damian and Jason both eating slices of pepperoni pizza.

"Hey, I want pizza!" Roy exclaimed.

Not thinking, he reached towards Damian's plate, only for his hand to retreat upon being stabbed with a fork.

"Dude! I think that broke the skin! I'm bleeding!"

"Stay away from my food," Damian responded solemnly.

Glaring at the boy and mumbling under his breath, Roy didn't look where he was going when he started to walk away, but he soon bumped into Damian's suitcase.

And the cat plushie tumbled out.

"Is this a... stuffed toy?"

"Unhand Blade!" the child suddenly screeched, leaping from his spot at the table, into the air, and landed on Roy, knocking the much older man over.

"The hell? What was that for?!" Roy asked as he scrambled up from underneath Damian, who had retrieved his toy and was glaring at the ginger.

"You were threatening Blade."

"I was just holding it!"

This logic was lost on the boy, who continued glowering at Roy.

"Well, I think this has been enough excitement for tonight. You should probably get to bed, kid," Jason suddenly said, stepping in before Roy could make some stupid retort that would make the kid try and kill him. Even if it would be rather humorous to watch.

"Maybe you'll be less psychotic in the morning," Roy mumbled, crossing his arms.

"_Tt._ I always act like this, Harper."

"I suddenly pity Batman."

"Bats may know you went out if you're tired, and then you'll get banned from patrol. So you should get to bed," Jason reasoned.

"I didn't even do anything..."

Titus barked, as if in agreement.

"I think that's the first time that dog made a noise tonight..."

"Titus is a superior animal to those who insist upon continuous noise."

The glare that was then sent at Roy gained an outburst from the young man.

"Did you just say a dog was superior to me, and call me an animal, in the same sentence?!"

"_Tt. _Of course I did."

"You know, that _Tt_ sound is getting annoying."

"_Tt. _As if I care if you are annoyed. Everything you do is annoying."

Jason decided to be more forceful as the fight continued on.

"Bed. Now." he demanded, but still picked up the child and started walking towards the bed.

"Wha- I demand you put me down at this instant, Todd!"

Dropping the kid down on the bed, he smirked.

"I just did. Now sleep."

Though he was swearing underneath his bed while doing so, Damian realized that it was not a fight worth spending his dwindling energy over. Clutching 'Blade', the boy slipped underneath the covers, and his large blue eyes slowly closed. As his breathing began to calm, Titus climbed up onto the bed, laying his head on the legs of his owner.

"He is rather peaceful while sleeping," Kori noted, taking a spot next to Roy.

"Like a sleeping python..." the archer mumbled, gaining a laugh from Jason.

"You're letting the kid get to you too much, Roy. He's a brat, but he's really just an obnoxious kid at worst."

"An obnoxious kid who stabs hands with a fork!"

"Well, his style of 'obnoxious' includes violence. Lots of violence."

"No kidding..." Roy muttered, rubbing his injured hand.

"He'll be picked up in the morning, anyway. Then you won't have to deal with the demon child of Batman and Talia anymore."

"That will forever be the most messed up parentage I have ever heard."

"What if the Joker and Harley Quinn had a kid?"

Roy looked thoughtful for a moment, then suddenly looked grossed out.

"You're right; that is worse..."

"Roy, I believe that now may be a good time to retire as well," Kori spoke up.

"... Yeah, you're right," he responded, yawning.

"No noise that would wake up the kid!"

"Sheesh, Jaybird, we know what is appropriate around children and what isn't!"

"Just checking."

Upon realizing he had nothing to do, Jason decided sleep wouldn't be the worst idea at the moment.

He was woke up at six in the morning, though, by loud knocking at the door.

"Grayson has arrived," Damian commented as Jason clamored out of bed, glaring at the door. He was not immensely surprised that the boy was already packed and dressed. He was, however, extremely pissed that he had to get up so early.

"Why the hell are you here at six in the morning?!" he asked as soon as he opened the door for the acrobat.

"I thought you'd want him off your hands as soon as possible..."

"I was sleeping! I don't care if he's there or not if I don't even hear him!"

Dick rubbed the back of his neck.

"Heh... Sorry. Is Damian ready?"

His question was answered when the boy came out the open door, his suitcase and dog trailing behind him.

"... Yeah. Thanks, Jay! I owe you!"

"Yeah, you do..." Jason whispered as Dick ran to his car and was soon gone.

The silence of the early hour did not last long.

"Dude! I think that the fork wound is infecting!"


End file.
